It has come to my attention that all the articles my friends and I have read telling us that we can earn money by blogging professionally are rubbish. Well, it doesn't surprise me as I was extremely sceptical from the get go. There are hundreds of millions of people on-line now, social networking, blogging call it what you want and to be honest unless you are a well known celebrity no-one is going to make a point of looking for Joe Soap's daily rant. If you were say the Beckhams, or the McCanns then people would hit your site daily as they are scared to death they are going to miss something, but poor little ol' me - well lets face it what on earth is interesting enough about my life to keep folks coming back for more. Errr - nowt! In a word my life is as dull as ditchwater, it would be more interesting watching paint dry than reading about my daily trials and tribulations. Right take today for example, I struggled out of bed at 9.30 - a bit late for me but it was pissing it down with rain, I can't go anywhere so what have I got to get up for. I must confess that the past couple of days I have found it a tad easier getting in and out, my right leg is slowly improving so that is a good thing. Anyway where was I, - right, I struggled out of bed and hobbled with my zimmer to the bathroom. I've been incontinent for a few years now due to the hip dysplasia I had and I have to wear pads, well now I'm gaining a little more control of my bladder through the day but at night I am still useless. Anyway I have to try and hurry to the bathroom before the pad slides down with the weight of all that water! So I change the pad, have a wash and brush my teeth then into the kitchen for coffee and porridge. I have coffee and porridge every single day without fail. Boring. Anyway around an hour later my friend/carer arrives with my bits from Morrison's. "Was it busy?" I query, "No", we go through the same thing every Saturday. So, I put the telly on, Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Every week I sob my little socks off at some poor family, I don't realise how lucky I am. Well we watch that, moan at most of the decorating as it is hideous then she goes home - for a nap cos she's tired. Anne is always tired. Every day she comes over, asks me how I am then yawns for two hours before going home for a nap. I sometimes wonder why she comes to see me for the days where she isn't yawning she is fast asleep in the chair. Anyway she leaves me and I go in the shower and get dressed. Back into the kitchen and find something to nuke for dinner. Now if the weather had been fine and dry I would have popped my coat on and ventured outdoors for a gentle walk outside while the microwave worked it's magic on my lunch. Anyway it was still raining so I perched on my stool in the kitchen occasionally watching my Tesco's finest Roast Lamb dinner go around whilst ostensibly reading Steven Kings Gerald's Game. Anyway the thing pings and I tuck a piece of kitchen roll down my cleavage and try to spear a carrot with my fork. Hard. I hate hard, crunchy vegetables so back in the microwave it goes. I put it on for nearly 40 minutes in total then abandon it as a bad job before fetching the cheese out of the fridge. Aah, cheese on toast - I would starve if I couldn't have that as a fall back! After my main meal I then have my cod liver oil and a multi vitamin, glucosamine (anyone with arthritis must take this daily - recommended by my surgeon), and my tissue salts. I've taken these for a number of years and can highly recommend them. If you go into Holland and Barratt's it is just like an Aladdin's cave, the stuff is fabulous. Anyway, I digress, after lunch I then wend my way into the room and turn this infernal machine on. That is where all my problems start. I really don't know what I am doing most of the time, and if I am perfectly honest I don't want to know. I'm not interested in how it works. I just want to be able to email my sister in Australia and talk with a few people on the MSN, do my bit of shopping and perhaps keep in touch with some wonderful people I have "met" chatting on my 360 and Multiply. Anyway this chatting/blogging has taken over and it's starting to tire me out. There aren't enough hours in a day for me to get online and do something to every social networking site that I am registered with. I am here, like I said on 360 and Multiply and they are enough for anyone, but then I also registered with Facebook, Stumble Upon, Mash, and Fubar, and another friend has got quite cross with me for not joining Mashable - and- for not having Yahoo messenger! No, no, no! Enough is enough. I am waiting to see what Yahoo are doing with 360/Mash then some accounts will have to go as I can't keep going on like this. And, then it's time for bed! There was a purpose to my blog today - just to point out that my life is as boring as heck and you really should be reading my proposed novel and leaving me messages of encouragement to continue with it. Genius needs encouragement and unless someone tells me my story is worth while continuing with I will continue to waste every day with social trivia and Spider Solitaire! Lol:-D
"Daddy It Hurts"
--Daddy It Hurts--
My name is Chris I am three,
My eyes are swollen I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.
I cant do a wrong I cant speak at all
Or else I'm locked up All day long.
When I'm awake I'm all alone The house is dark
My folks aren't home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlies bar
I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault He suffers at work
He slaps and hits me And yells at me more,
I finally get free And run to the door
He's already locked it And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken,
"I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much to late
His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain Again and again
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door
While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor
My name is Chris I am three,
Tonight my daddy Murdered me
And you can help Sickens me to the soul,
And if you read this and don't pass it on
I pray for your forgiveness
Because you would have to be One heartless person
To not be affected By this Poem
And because YOU ARE affected,
Do something about it! So all I ask you to do Is pass this on!
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE! PLEASE COPY AND PASTE THIS AND PASS IT ON !!
RE-POST THIS AS
"Daddy it Hurts''
November 22nd 2007
True Story
I have just realised it is 132 days today since I stopped smoking!
I reckon I deserve a treat and a pat on the back. I used to love smoking, I never disliked the smell and always said that when my surgeries were done I would start again, but, I'm not going to. After three days of breathing oxygen through a plastic tube I was most disturbed by the fact that my first visitors who came reeked of stale cigarettes and made me feel so sick! I was actually backing away from them as they reached over to kiss me. However, I promise that I wont turn into one of the holier than thou ex smokers though. Just because I now dislike it, it doesn't give me the right to preach to my family and friends. I hated it when people used to nag me. I am a grown up woman and perfectly capable of making my own decisions be they bad or good ones. I do not need nannying, thank you very much!
Nvember 9th 2001
I saw the following earlier and had to smile. My eldest son and his girlfriend are flying to Slovakia next weekend and both are nervous passengers!
Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
Hell Has Frozen Over
This is just too funny and I absolutely had to share it. I'm not all about the religion talk , but it's an absolute must read .
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, " it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct. . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
Wisdom
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Nana's lap.
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