Ahoj everyone,
I am hoping you are all fit and healthy. I'm fine, healthy as an ox apparently. I had my annual medical in September and the lekár (doctor) said so! Lol. 
She asked lots of questions regarding the standard of healthcare the NHS gives in the UK then added confidentially that she thought it was the best in the world. 
A quick question, when you walk home in the dark and hear footsteps behind you do you think it's a stalker or a serial killer? Me I think it could be a démon or a werewolf first - then it could be a vampire but they don't usually make any noise as they glide silently across the ground. 
I have to think démon first as I didn't make it to the Halloween celebrations and I am going to be possessed by one if I'm not very, very careful. Viera, Zuzie's mum told me so. Yes indeedy. 
So hold your hands up if you remember my very first disastrous attempt at dating way, way, way back in April? I said then that I was giving up and I really, REALLY wish that I had stuck to my guns. 'sighs'
Jeck is in Moskva, still rolling on the floor laughing hystericky after I told him of last night's katastrofa - I can see him through my webcam 
!
Where to begin... I met Viktor the first week here at univerzita. He looked really smart ((grins at Cousin Augie 
)) he is in his 3rd year studying politické vedy (political science) with the aim to eventually doing something in the štátna služba (civil service). Taller than me but that isn't hard when you barely scratch the 5' mark! He is a native Brat and was very helpful in showing me where to park my little Ninja.
He asked me out and I said no Ďakujeme. So for a few days he trucoval (sulked) then appeared again and just joined me if he saw me at lunch. As you can imagine Grigor, Miri and Vanya all had to meet him and thoroughly grill him. Like I said he seemed so nice.
So last night was Bonfire night in the UK. The 2nd one I missed and all last week I was feeling quite nostalgický and lonely and when Vik rang Friday night and asked me out to a club, like an idiot I said yes.
Never again. Never, ever again. Alright Jeck you can stop laughing now - seriously you can.
Thank goodness I know Bratislava very well. We caught the trolejbus and wandered down a couple of streets when I realised where we were going. The club looks very nice on the outside but on the inside it is for people who like the 'alternate' lifestyle - fetish gear. A Koža Klub! A Leather Club 
My feet froze to the floor despite our lack of ice and snow and I glared at Vik. He gave me a funny look before explaining he had tickets for the entertainment that night and thought I would enjoy it?!? When I calmly asked him why, he explained because I wear leather trousers and boots all the time he thought I wanted introducing to the 'scéna'.
"Hell no"!!!
I turned on one heel after saying that and made to leave him standing there like a drowning goldfish when he grabbed at my arm.
"Touch me and I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it".
There were other words but they are the ones I remember. As an exit line its prolly been used lots of times but it is the first time I have ever been in that situation and I was very pleased that my brain hadn't dried up. I managed to grab a taxi that had just left a couple at the club and high-tailed it back to my rooms. The only person I have told up to now is Jeck the jerk who keeps cracking up... 
My BlackBerry keeps ringing and pinging with messages and voice-mail from Vik and I keep deleting. Hopefully he will get the message and leave me alone. Doh...
Does anyone know of a ženský kláštor (nunnery) that needs a prírodovedec (natural scientist) - I can envision living there easily, really I can. 
Seriously Jeck are you STILL kdákání ako hyena? Keep it up and I will not be coming to Moskva for Vianoce (Chrimbo).
Oh my visitors now - I can see them coming up the stairs. This could be good trying to tell Miri and her snúbenec (fiance) Miro about last nights debacle. 'sighs again'...
Maj sa zatiaľ (bye for now),
Láska pre všetkých (love to you all), 
D3M1
xoxox
"Daddy It Hurts"
--Daddy It Hurts--
My name is Chris I am three,
My eyes are swollen I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.
I cant do a wrong I cant speak at all
Or else I'm locked up All day long.
When I'm awake I'm all alone The house is dark
My folks aren't home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlies bar
I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault He suffers at work
He slaps and hits me And yells at me more,
I finally get free And run to the door
He's already locked it And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken,
"I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much to late
His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain Again and again
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door
While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor
My name is Chris I am three,
Tonight my daddy Murdered me
And you can help Sickens me to the soul,
And if you read this and don't pass it on
I pray for your forgiveness
Because you would have to be One heartless person
To not be affected By this Poem
And because YOU ARE affected,
Do something about it! So all I ask you to do Is pass this on!
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE! PLEASE COPY AND PASTE THIS AND PASS IT ON !!
RE-POST THIS AS
"Daddy it Hurts''
November 22nd 2007
True Story
I have just realised it is 132 days today since I stopped smoking!
I reckon I deserve a treat and a pat on the back. I used to love smoking, I never disliked the smell and always said that when my surgeries were done I would start again, but, I'm not going to. After three days of breathing oxygen through a plastic tube I was most disturbed by the fact that my first visitors who came reeked of stale cigarettes and made me feel so sick! I was actually backing away from them as they reached over to kiss me. However, I promise that I wont turn into one of the holier than thou ex smokers though. Just because I now dislike it, it doesn't give me the right to preach to my family and friends. I hated it when people used to nag me. I am a grown up woman and perfectly capable of making my own decisions be they bad or good ones. I do not need nannying, thank you very much!
Nvember 9th 2001
I saw the following earlier and had to smile. My eldest son and his girlfriend are flying to Slovakia next weekend and both are nervous passengers!
Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
Hell Has Frozen Over
This is just too funny and I absolutely had to share it. I'm not all about the religion talk , but it's an absolute must read .
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, " it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct. . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
Wisdom
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Nana's lap.
