News Flash

Oh my goodness. I am stunned.

 My eldest lad, Matthew and his girlfriend, Zuzana are going to have a baby! 

 It will be their first and I am dead chuffed with them. Matthew always said he didn't want children and he is a dirty great fibber!  I've never seen anyone smiling so much.

They have been to Slovakia recently to see her dad as he is quite ill with a dodgy ticker and they had to make sure he knew - just in case! 

I already have two granddaughters and one grandson so another one will fit in just perfect.

 

 

Quote For Today

It used to be the case that you needed to speak 4 languages to get a job in a London hotel. Nowadays you need 4 languages to stay in one.    

Quick Joke

Young Dave was courting Mabel, who lived on an adjoining farm out west in cattle country. One evening, as they were sitting on Dave's porch watching the sun go down over the hills, Dave spied his prize bull doing the business on one of his cows. He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural scene and figured the omens were right for him to put the big question to Mabel.
He leaned in close and whispered in her ear, "Mabel, I'd sure like to be doing what that bull is doing."
"Well then, why don't you?" Mabel whispered back.
"It is YOUR cow."  

 

 

Another joke

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her."
"Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade in seven years."
The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching. Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted.
A horseman approached. It was the knight's best friend.
He said "Hey, you gave me the wrong key!!"  

 

Stupid Me!

I give up! This silly machine will be the death of me. I have been trying to tidy my page up as I think it's got quite messy and the more I try to insert something the messier it gets! Oops.




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Free Comments & Graphics

Professional Blogging

It has come to my attention that all the articles my friends and I have read telling us that we can earn money by blogging professionally are rubbish. Well, it doesn't surprise me as I was extremely sceptical from the get go. There are hundreds of millions of people on-line now, social networking, blogging call it what you want and to be honest unless you are a well known celebrity no-one is going to make a point of looking for Joe Soap's daily rant. If you were say the Beckhams, or the McCanns then people would hit your site daily as they are scared to death they are going to miss something, but poor little ol' me - well lets face it what on earth is interesting enough about my life to keep folks coming back for more. Errr - nowt! In a word my life is as dull as ditchwater, it would be more interesting watching paint dry than reading about my daily trials and tribulations. Right take today for example, I struggled out of bed at 9.30 - a bit late for me but it was pissing it down with rain, I can't go anywhere so what have I got to get up for. I must confess that the past couple of days I have found it a tad easier getting in and out, my right leg is slowly improving so that is a good thing. Anyway where was I, - right, I struggled out of bed and hobbled with my zimmer to the bathroom. I've been incontinent for a few years now due to the hip dysplasia I had and I have to wear pads, well now I'm gaining a little more control of my bladder through the day but at night I am still useless. Anyway I have to try and hurry to the bathroom before the pad slides down with the weight of all that water! So I change the pad, have a wash and brush my teeth then into the kitchen for coffee and porridge. I have coffee and porridge every single day without fail. Boring. Anyway around an hour later my friend/carer arrives with my bits from Morrison's. "Was it busy?" I query, "No", we go through the same thing every Saturday. So, I put the telly on, Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Every week I sob my little socks off at some poor family, I don't realise how lucky I am. Well we watch that, moan at most of the decorating as it is hideous then she goes home - for a nap cos she's tired. Anne is always tired. Every day she comes over, asks me how I am then yawns for two hours before going home for a nap. I sometimes wonder why she comes to see me for the days where she isn't yawning she is fast asleep in the chair. Anyway she leaves me and I go in the shower and get dressed. Back into the kitchen and find something to nuke for dinner. Now if the weather had been fine and dry I would have popped my coat on and ventured outdoors for a gentle walk outside while the microwave worked it's magic on my lunch. Anyway it was still raining so I perched on my stool in the kitchen occasionally watching my Tesco's finest Roast Lamb dinner go around whilst ostensibly reading Steven Kings Gerald's Game. Anyway the thing pings and I tuck a piece of kitchen roll down my cleavage and try to spear a carrot with my fork. Hard. I hate hard, crunchy vegetables so back in the microwave it goes. I put it on for nearly 40 minutes in total then abandon it as a bad job before fetching the cheese out of the fridge. Aah, cheese on toast - I would starve if I couldn't have that as a fall back! After my main meal I then have my cod liver oil and a multi vitamin, glucosamine (anyone with arthritis must take this daily - recommended by my surgeon), and my tissue salts. I've taken these for a number of years and can highly recommend them. If you go into Holland and Barratt's it is just like an Aladdin's cave, the stuff is fabulous. Anyway, I digress, after lunch I then wend my way into the room and turn this infernal machine on. That is where all my problems start. I really don't know what I am doing most of the time, and if I am perfectly honest I don't want to know. I'm not interested in how it works. I just want to be able to email my sister in Australia and talk with a few people on the MSN, do my bit of shopping and perhaps keep in touch with some wonderful people I have "met" chatting on my 360 and Multiply. Anyway this chatting/blogging has taken over and it's starting to tire me out. There aren't enough hours in a day for me to get online and do something to every social networking site that I am registered with. I am here, like I said on 360 and Multiply and they are enough for anyone, but then I also registered with Facebook, Stumble Upon, Mash, and Fubar, and another friend has got quite cross with me for not joining Mashable - and- for not having Yahoo messenger! No, no, no! Enough is enough. I am waiting to see what Yahoo are doing with 360/Mash then some accounts will have to go as I can't keep going on like this. And, then it's time for bed! There was a purpose to my blog today - just to point out that my life is as boring as heck and you really should be reading my proposed novel and leaving me messages of encouragement to continue with it. Genius needs encouragement and unless someone tells me my story is worth while continuing with I will continue to waste every day with social trivia and Spider Solitaire! Lol:-D

A New Chapter

I am still waiting for comments so will add a little more from my prospective novel to tempt someone, anyone into adding a comment!

CHAPTER ONE


LYTA


Pain! It burned through her body as she ran. Mosquitoes bit her fiercely, repeatedly causing large welts to spring up on the tender surfaces of her skin. Branches cruelly whipped her face,arms and legs, leaving smears of green blood oozing from the scratches left behind, twigs caught at her snagging in her clothes and hair, pulling her long blue black hair from the roots. She tried to breathe, gasping harshly as her legs pumped furiously as she raced to evade the mob who had relentlessly chased her over the past three days. She glanced ahead but the driving rain blurred her vision and she prayed silently that she had not strayed from the track too much. The baying of hounds spurred her forward as she looked frantically around. Finally she saw it, slightly darker, a shadow to those who didn't know the area as well. A crevice in the looming cliff-face, a shadow which only someone who knew the area well would know about.

Casting a grateful prayer to her mother for the blissful hours spent exploring the woods, she
ran carefully towards her sanctuary, placing her feet gingerly on mounds of fallen leaves, now trying to leave no trail for the trackers following. Her delicate feet seemed to glide weightlessly over the floor without disturbing the smallest of insects underfoot. Images of her fate if she was caught came into her mind. To burn staked out under a hot afternoon sun, after suffering the unmentionable tortures and torments for which Nemon the overseer was known for. With a shudder of revulsion she glanced over her shoulder and to her horror saw the first of the giant mastiffs inexorably nearing her, it's powerful haunches pushing it's huge body forward, faster than she could run. A feral rictus contorting it's face it snarled at the sight of it's quarry, saliva whipping it's face as the yellow teeth glistened in the fading daylight.

A hunting horn sounded and she heard voices now, harsh and guttural, the language still after three years sounding strange and unfamiliar to her ears which were used to more lilting, harmonic tones . In speaking out in anger against Nemon, she had caused his humiliation with the visiting lords. She knew that the overseer was desperate to advance into Lord Azhmel's service, and his plan to give his guests their own personal female slave would have brought him one step closer. She however, had been vociferous in her refusal and so had brought Nemon's wrath upon her head and, her own death sentence.

As she ran, thought's of her pretty mother sprang to mind, and she wondered now if the mystery surrounding her death two years earlier could be explained. She was only twelve at the time and her mother had been called in front of Nemon and told to pick her basket of healing herbs and powders up, she was going on a trip and her skills were to be used to impress the new overlord, Azhmel. Nemon had grasped her roughly around her waist with one hand while the other gripped Illyria's chin tightly. "You will do everything my Lord wants" he had hissed sibilantly, "Failure will be very unpleasant not just for you but for everyone here". As Illyria had looked into his dark eyes she could tell the truths he spoke.

A vision of the evening when Lord Azhmel had first rode into their village sprang into her mind as she ran. He bestrode a large jet black destrier which was known as Fury, the animal was evil personified and, so was his master. Lord Azhmel had looked around while sat on his horse and Lyta had felt his burning gaze on her as she worked in the small herb garden which had belonged to her mother. As she looked up his eyes caught her and she became transfixed as a moth in the flame of a burning candle. With a shudder she had torn herself away and bent back to her task,murmuring their names as she packed them into her small rabbit skin satchel.
"Sage,comfrey,mint,borage," as she settled back into harvesting she slowly relaxed and was intensely aware of when his eyes strayed further away from her. She took a deep cleansing breath and tried to forget him. Lord Azhmel's delight in the whipping of the men who worked for him was legendary, the slightest transgression meant they could receive over fifty lashes before Azhmel was satisfied, he always performed the whipping himself and seemed to derive a perverse pleasure from it. There were also stories that he mistreated his female slaves,but no-ne had seen this for the females mysteriously disappeared and were never seen again.

Confused

So here we are again, the wee small hours of the night and I still haven't slept a wink. Then again I haven't tried to get into bed yet tonight. It is so very difficult. It will be three weeks tomorrow (Monday) since my operation and to be honest, I feel pretty rough. Nothing at all like after my op in August. I was marvellous then, sprightly, able to get outside and walk and bed my hip in. My neighbours must have thought a lunatic was in their midst as I daily used to set off, both sticks in hand and a huge cheesy smile plastered all over my face. My friend used to compare me with askier, you know left arm with stick out at the same time as my right leg and vic versa. I did so much more then than they (the surgeons) expected me to. Now look at me. It's all I can do to stand up, and walking is an absolute nightmare for me. I keep forcing myself to go and walk but it's not the same - my smile has gone and I'm not having fun anymore! They say it will get better but I am not holding them down to that with how I feel at the moment. I ust get better so I can go to my only brother for Christmas dinner. He would never forgive me if I let him down.

Prologue Third and Final Part

The forgotten benefactors who had settled the people ten generations ago.

For although the signs had been disregarded and forgotten as myths and legends, there were still traces of them. No-one had followed in their footsteps for many years. The older priests had tried to urge their flock into renewing an interest in the histories, but, as children are wont to do, they laughed and continued to play. Eventually after many moons a decision was made. Eight of the faithful were chosen, eight because it was the magical number of the old ones. These were the strongest and fittest of the people left behind. The eight still had youthful vigour on their sides, something which they would need in the long days to come.

In the quiet depths of the hidden underground catacombs they were shown secrets which had been forgotten except by the few priests who survived and watched over them. The priests were old and wise in ways their flock knew nothing about. They chanted and sang over the runes and, living maps writhed through the air, a mysterious red glow surrounding them, before, briefly touching their bodies. They gagged on the cloths which had been forced in their mouths to muffle their screams, no-one must hear them or all would be lost. An enormous cover stone was laboriously pushed away from a cave which contained scrolls and the few precious relics that had survived the desecration. The scrolls were reverently unwrapped and studied carefully. Kneeling together in a circle, heads bowed. they prayed for guidance and courage. The priests stood over them chanting the Old language.

Slowly all became aware of the thickening of the air and a luminescent green glow began to envelop them. The living maps began to writhe on their bodies and as they stared in amazement details were filled in. A trail was marked and they smiled triumphantly that the Old Ones had given them a sign.

They slipped away quietly in the night, stifling anxious whispers from their neighbours and friends as they evaded the sentries. Fervent prayers were muttered that the invaders were too lost in drink and sleep to hear their escape. For months after the Seekers left, their friends and family were put to work in the fields. Every day they murmured 'Today we will be saved, today they will return', and at the setting of the sun as they dragged their weary bodies home they prayed for the strength to continue.

Finally the prayers stopped. The Old Ones had really gone and there was to be no rescue. Or so they believed...........

Professional Blogging

So how does someone (namely me) earn money by blogging professionally? I have been assured by numerous people that there is lots of money available if you know what you are doing but - I don't know what I am doing and no-one is letting me in on the secret!

I have now set up accounts on Yahoo 360, Yahoo Mash, Multiply, Facebook and a Fubar as well as this one on Blogger and cannot for the life of me see anything which is worth someone paying me for. Hmmm. I have a feeling they were all pulling my leg!

Talking about legs, I must have been really lucky when I had my left leg sorted out in August. I didn't have any pain at all and had steadily improved. So why does my right leg hurt like heck this time? I have never known such pain, and it isn't improving at all. I will have to mention it to the nurse tomorrow when she makes her last home visit. She is coming to nip the knots out of my wounds and then that is it. I am on my own. Scary thought. I do wish she would come back a few more times if only to put my very elegant ted socks on me. I have to wear them for six weeks to prevent DVT or PE - for the folks who don't understand medical abbreviations they are deep vein thrombosis or pulmonary embolism. I made a rod for my own back really. Prior to my operation in August if I walked 100 steps a day I was doing well. The day I went in this time I walked with the aid of two sticks a total of (big drum roll) 2568! Da da!!! So now I am struggling to walk 300 steps a day I am at more risk of getting a clot than I was before. Does that make sense to you? Hope so as I am not going to try and work it out again :-D Also we should all of us that sit in front of our computer day in day out remember to get up and walk around every half an hour or so. Siting is very bad and could cause the same clots as well as strokes! Flippin' heck this typing lark is quite dangerous then? My advice is to get a cooker timer and set it to go off every half an hour, then while you are having a walk about have a drink as none of us take in enough liquids. End of today's medical lecture by Dr Dozy!

Prologue Part two

Many hundreds of years had past when suddenly the idyllic lifestyle was broken. Beacon fires were lit across the land, red coloured smoke was seen to spread across the skies. Exhausted runners arrived and word spread of the the Unbelievers who came, tall, bronze skinned alien savages, who desecrated everything which lay before them, as a plague of locusts. Within six months the land was covered with the blood of slaughtered innocents. After a year the land was unrecognizable, the paradise had gone and a dusty barren waste was left behind them.

Slaves were gathered and chained to follow in the wake of their new masters. Anyone who resisted was beaten viciously and staked under the hot burning sun. Few were left behind,the old and infirm, young children. Yet, slowly the invaders realised that for them to survive they must eat, and the plantations must be maintained, and so, to reward their men the land was gradually divided and, as the warriors surged forth, they left behind overseers. They wrought to maintain the fields and herds which hadn't been destroyed, and to make a stable base for their leaders.

Markets were held and the overseers bartered for the slaves still able enough to work in the fields, they toiled from dawn till dusk, working until they collapsed into a restless slumber at the end of each day. These survivors whispered amongst themselves in the dark. The priests who had been hidden were consulted and gradually a plan was formed. It was decided to send Seekers. To look for the Old Ones.

Is this worth continuing?

For many years I have contemplated writing a novel. I am a huge science fantasy fan and have often thought I would like to have a go but never had the motivation. Well, 12 years of unemployment due to ill health gets you a tad tetchy at times, and now I am on the mend will I have to start and look for gainful employment? I don't know who would set me on as my memory is shot to bits, I write little notes for the slightest thing and sick them to the fridge door. Since I had chemo my poor tummy rebels quite a lot and I am never sure that I will get there in time! Eeewww. So what prospective employer would want me? Anyway, I have been doodling some things on this infernal machine for a few weeks now and would like some critiques please. Don't worry about offending me cos you won't do that. If you think it's rubbish then tell me so and I will stop wasting my time and practise batting my eyelashes whilst stood on the local Town Hall steps!


Prologue


It was the Before Time. A time of peace and prosperity. For a thousand years men,women and children had lived their lives simply and quietly. There were no wars, no poverty and no starvation, sickness was rare and the people lived long and happy lives. The fields were green and fruitful, the bounty it provided was plentiful, so no-one went to bed at night knowing the gnawing pangs of hunger.

Across the land the villages and towns lived in harmony, children laughed and played from dawn till dusk then they gathered with their elders, below the twin moons of Gaia which continuously blessed them with their light. They had listened to the joyous harmonies echoing eternally into the velvet darkness, as their voices resonated majestically into the night as they celebrated the wondrous gifts they had received, and praising their beloved Gods. They worshipped at shrines to the Old Ones. Powerful, magical beings who had spread their seed and knowledge hundreds of years earlier, before moving away. On rare occasions special children were born, delicate and fey, with pointed ears and violet eyes, these children in turn renewed the faith and knowledge which had been gradually lost, as these children were born with the genetic memory of their forefathers. But, slowly, these children had virtually disappeared and, after many hundreds of years were forgotten by most of the land. Isolated villages on the edge of civilization became the most devout, and it was in these places that the faith remained the strongest.

The wisdom of the Old Ones had been imparted to the simple village leaders, in mystical ceremonies, which became embedded into the depths of their psyche. They became the early priests, who, in turn taught the generations of children who followed. And, as happens with the repeated tellings of the stories they became distorted and gradually the memories were slowly forgotten by all but the most faithful and dedicated of their brethren.

The Complicated Life of a Peruvian Quadruped

Well, hello to one and all.

Welcome to my musings and ramblings. I am happy for any and all company but, will not allow any inappropriate behaviour or language so you have been warned!
I am recovering from multiple complex joint replacement surgeries and not feeling tip top at present so bear with me while I find my feet again. I have been crippled with arthritis for nearly 12 years so am looking forward to putting my best foot forward and seeing just how much the world outside my flat has changed!
I currently have a Yahoo 360 page which for some weird and wonderful reason appears to be quite popular - my friends there are the very best anyone could wish for so I do hope some find their way over here and say Hi